Well, the new year is quickly approaching.

What do you want this year?

 That is a question I've been pondering.

The answer...

I want to be more like Jesus!

I want Him to mold me and shape me into what He wants.

I want Him to continue to grow my faith.

I want Him to use my life to bring Him glory.

I want to be a better servant of all.

I want to be a better wife to the wonderful husband God has so graciously given me.

I want to be a better mother to the children that God has entrusted me to care for.

I want to love more.

I want to forgive more.

I want to see everyone as Jesus sees them, not through my physical eyes, but spiritual.

I want to fade into the background.

I want people to see Jesus when they look at me and glorify Him.

I want to give Him all the worship and adoration that only HE deserves.

I want to love the Lord my God with ALL my HEART, ALL my SOUL, ALL my MIND, and ALL my STRENGTH.

I want to laugh more.

I want to play more.

I want to make EVERY day count!

The great thing about all these things is that I know each one of them can be fulfilled in my life.

As I seek Him in His Word and obey His calling on my life it will happen!

Thank You Lord for the life that YOU alone have given to me.

My hearts desire is to be set apart for You.

 Help me to make the most of this life for Your glory.

Please give me Your strength to endure the hardships, trials, tribulations, and persecution that come my way,  with rejoicing, for I know they will come, but it will be worth it in the end.

My hearts desire is to hear You say, when I meet You in heaven,

"Well done my good and faithful servant."

I've been reading in Jonah this morning, and it occurred to me that people try to run from the Lord all the time. They try to escape what He has for their lives. Does this make any sense to any of you? It doesn't to me, considering, how can one hide from the God who made the universe?

We all must be a bit prideful to think that we can hide from the One who sees all.

What arrogance on our part!

The Lord also has shown me that when we are told to do something for Him and we don't, we willfully rebel against the Lord as Jonah did, we put others in jeopardy.

Jonah tried to flee from the presence of the Lord (Jonah 1:3; 1:10). He paid to board a ship to get as far from the Lord as possible...While he was on the ship, a great storm came and threatened everyone on board. You know what? While everyone else was calling out to their (false)gods, Jonah was sleeping below deck as if he had not a care in the world.

 How does that work? His disobedience caused the problem for the rest of the passengers, yet he slept like a baby. He wouldn't even call out to God, and He believed in the One True Living God, or so he said. Why? Because  He knew why this storm was raging and threatening all of their lives. He knew it was his fault, but he didn't care. He pretended as if the storm didn't exist.  He didn't care that his disobedience was putting others through great turmoil and stress.

That is so like the person who is living in willful rebellion against the Lord. They could be living in lala land, pretending that everything is alright. They act as if nothing is wrong when everything around them is crumbling away, and the people that they say they love are getting hurt. They take no responsibility for their actions which caused the catastrophe they're in.

Jonah had finally taken responsibility, after the storm had gotten so bad that it looked like they  would all die, and after the others on the ship confronted him.(better late than never) He told the men that the only way to calm the sea was to throw him overboard, because he was the cause of their troubles. (Jonah 1:12-15)

Interesting...

Jonah disobeys God. Others suffer. He ignores the problem.Then, when he can't take it any more, he finds a quick fix to it. Did his quick fix end the suffering of the people? Yes. They saw that when they through him overboard. God  calmed the sea....they had to give Jonah to the Lord and then they had peace!

 Did the quick fix help Jonah? Well, it wasn't exactly instant. It took him a few days in the belly of the fish to come to the place where God could speak to him.

There are a couple of lessons in this for us....

When there is someone in our lives that is rebelling against the Lord, we must give them into His hands in order to have true peace. If we don't we will suffer, unnecessarily I might add, right along with that person. God wants us to give them to Him so He can work in their lives.

AND

Change isn't always instant. We need to give our loved one/s to the Lord and continually lift them up in prayer that the Lord can do a work in them His way and in HIS time. We need to stay out of the way and let God do what ONLY HE CAN DO!

 

After Jonah was thrown  overboard, the Lord sent a great fish to swallow him up. You see, being in the great fish gave Jonah lots of time to reflect on his actions and attitude toward the Lord, the One in whom he said he feared (Jonah 1:9).He had a chance to be alone and be quiet so that the Lord could speak to him once again.

We need to look at our lives and take account of what is going on in it, evaluate why these things are happening, take responsibility for any part we may have played in getting to this point,  seriously look at the pain and suffering we are causing others by living our lives in this manner, and repent to the Lord.

When we rebel against the Lord, we aren't the only ones being hurt. We hurt those we say we love.

While in the great fish, Jonah became broken. He realized what he was doing, rebelling against the Lord, and he repented to the Lord. He realized that God could've let him die in his rebellion, but He didn't. He saved him from an everlasting separation from Himself. He praised the Lord and acknowledged that his salvation came from the Lord only. Only after he acknowledged his sin and repented of it did the Lord save his life (physically and spiritually).

In conclusion....

Our God...

 is a MIGHTY God!!

is JUST!!

is LONGSUFFERING!!

is FORGIVING!!

is LOVING!!

HE IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCES!!!!

If you are in the place where Jonah was, in rebellion against the Lord and hurting yourself and those you love, know that the Lord Jesus is calling to you and wants to restore you back to Himself. He loves you and will forgive you of ALL your sins(EVERYTHING you've done wrong) and rebellion. All you need to do is  cry out to Him. Confess that you are a sinner and the things you have done, repent (running away from those things that you have called sin) from those things, and ask Jesus to come into your heart. He is ready, willing, and able to save you! That is why He willingly died a brutal death, on the cross. He did it because He loves you and He wants you to be with Him for eternity in heaven. Jesus is the only way to heaven! Only through Him will you find salvation and true peace.

If you are someone who is feeling the effects of someone you love who is running from the Lord, rest in the Lord. Give your loved one to Him continually and watch what He does. He is faithful! He will reveal Himself in His time.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians4:6-7

My weight loss in a nut shell...

At the beginning of the year I posted about my weight problem. I didn't follow through the way I intended to, but here are some details.

I tried, I failed, I tried some more, I failed, I tried even more, I failed, I gave it to God, I succeeded!!!

Basically, what that means is that I tried to lose weight the way I've always learned, by the wisdom of the world. I know soooooooo much about nutrition, exercise, calorie intake, etc, etc, etc...yet putting that wisdom into action gave me little to no positive results at all. Then my aunt let me know about this Bible study that is about dealing with Feasting on Jesus instead of food...The main idea of the study was to view food and the sin issues of your heart that lead one to overeat, starve themselves, binge and purge, etc in the light of the Word of God. To focus on Jesus and His wisdom instead of the world's wisdom. What a wonderful ride that was!!

Not only was I confronted, encouraged, and strengthened, but I was transformed from the inside out. What an amazing experience! In less than 3 months I lost 27lbs. That was all focusing on Jesus. I did exercise, but it was only really walking  or doing a 30-45 minute dvd once  a day, sometimes not even that. God showed me that it wasn't what I was eating, or how I was eating, or the kind of exercise I did or didn't do,  that was the problem, it was my heart that was the problem. I was looking to fill my soul with physical food instead of spiritual food from the Word. When I stopped trying to fill my soul that way I noticed changes, spiritually and physically...it was amazing. I have since gained about 7 lbs back, b/c the last part of the study was a 20 day fast, and that was expected, but I feel fabulous and am continuing on my journey. My goal is to get to 130 by summer of 2011...I believe that whether I succeed at that or not doesn't really matter, but that, as I continue this journey, the more important thing will be accomplished..that is I will be blessed with a more intimate, deeper, relationship with Jesus than ever before..I will have an abundance of His peace throughout this sometimes very chaotic life of mine, and  I will be blessed with joy unexplainable. All praise and glory to my LORD!!

If you're interested in the study that I did, go to;

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/ and click on The Lord's Table. It is a free online study (you can also purchase the study and have the books sent to your home...i chose the online study...they are both the same..) I encourage everyone to check it out...you will be so blessed that you did :)

If you do the study, I would encourage you to keep a journal of your journey. I kept one in a notebook...it's great to go back and review what you've learned. <3

A Question

I was asked a very reasonable, normal question about a week ago, and I've been pondering it ever since. "What's the question?" you may be asking
. "What do you need for your birthday?"
Quite simple, isn't it? Most people would love to be asked this question. It's the chance to get something you really want, but maybe wouldn't buy for yourself, right? I have been probing my mind to find something I need so I can answer this question. You know what I came up with?

I don't NEED anything!

In fact, I don't even want anything.

I have everything I need already.

I came upon this Scripture this morning that confirmed this to me...

"For the Mighty One has done great thigns for me; And holy is His name. And His mercy is upon generation after generation toward those who fear Him. "Luke 1:49-50

You see, I don't need anything because He has given me everything I need. He has blessed me beyond measure. I'm not talking about financial or material blessing, but something even more blessed. He has given me life, eternal life with Him! What more could one need?
Beyond that, He has given me a wonderful family, immediate, extended, church, friends, etc. He has blessed me with a husband who loves me and is always looking out for me. I'm not worthy of that. He has blessed me with four awesome children who have changed my life forever. He has blessed my husband with a job that pays the bills. I have a place to live, food on the table, clothes on my back, my health...it's not perfect, but I know it could be sooooooo much worse. He has blessed me with so much more than I can ever express, and for this I am truly thankful.

I'm not concerned with material or financial gain...it profits me nothing in the end. The only thing I really need noone but God can give to me; That is a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him. A greater understanding of His will for my family and my life. Godly wisdom and discernment would be a great gift too. So what would help me on my quest for these things?
I know what I need...a new Bible!!! Mine is falling apart from being so loved...Praise the LORD!! I NEED a new Bible :)
And now I have an answer to that question. Thank You Jesus <3

2 Peter 1:2-3
Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord;
 seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us [fn] by His own glory and [fn] excellence.

2010; Trials, Tragedies, and Triumphs

In April of this year, I found out I was pregnant. That was HUGE!!!! You see, my husband had a vasectomy over 7 years ago. So, you could imagine the shock and surprise that we felt when we found out that I was pregnant. I was soooooooo excited!! Never in a million years did I think this would ever happen again. It was a miracle for the Lord above. Then came my first ultrasound. There was very little growth of my baby and things didn't look good, but I still stayed positive and trusted in the Lord who gave my little miracle life. Then another ultrasound 2 weeks later...that was a bit harder to take. There was no growth, but they saw a quick blip on the screen...a heartbeat? Perhaps...I cried, but still trusted in my Lord. I told the Dr. that God is the giver of life and He put my baby here so I'm not going to do a D&E, which they strongly suggested, because I was going to give God a chance to prove them wrong. Well, then the last ultrasound...now that was a painful one...My baby was not only not growing and the heartbeat was gone, but he was deteriorating right inside me....still I trusted my Lord. All along the Word of God was a great comfort to me. He kept taking me to Job. Daily I would read and daily I would find words of comfort. The Word of God is the only place to turn to.  About 3 weeks later, I had pain unimaginable and it just got worse. I had a house full of kids and my husband was at work. The pain was accompanied by a loss of blood that I had never seen before, and I've had 4 c-sections...It got so bad that I called the ambulance and was rushed to emergency. My wonderful mother was there when I got there...I praise the Lord for that...I don't know if I could've done it on my own. I will spare you the gruesome details, b/c believe me, they were gruesome. I had to have an emergency D&E, stayed the night, thanks to the nurse who pled my case and insisted that I stay, was discharged, only to be readmitted the next morning for another night due to complications...so much blood loss, transfusions, etc......Long story short, I lost my baby. I think that was the hardest thing I've ever gone through.
I began to question God...WHY? I didn't understand. I thought for sure that He would've brought this baby through as a testimony to the Dr's and all who doubted of how He is in control. Then I began to question myself...was I that bad a mother that the Lord decided I wasn't worthy of another baby? Did I do something wrong? It was crazy, b/c I knew that none of that was true. I felt like Job. For the first time in my life, I related to Job more than anyone in the Bible. God is God and He will do as He pleases. Who am I to question Him...I came to that just like Job did...and then I was back on track...b/c really, who am I to question the Lord of all creation, the Great I Am, the Mighty God, the Prince of Peace, the Everlasting Father, the Alpha and Omega, the Savior of my Soul...The Lord continually showed me His grace, mercy, and faithfulness and brought me comfort like noone could.
It wasn't easy to get through, but with the Lord and the wonderful ladies that He used to minister to me, I got through it. Does it still hurt? YES...I'd be lying if I said that every time I see a new baby or a picture of a baby, or a pregnant women, etc that it doesn't bring tears to my eyes...But I know that my baby is being taken care of by the Lord...He wasn't mine to begin with...he was entrusted to me by the Living God...just as all of my other children were. They aren't mine. I was entrusted with them to raise them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord and that is what I'm doing.
It's amazing how something so painful can open ones eyes to the issues of their heart. That is what it did for me. I'm eternally grateful for that. Although I miss my baby, what I gained from the experience is worth so much.
I praise the Lord for getting me through that, for restoring me back to Him, and for giving me opportunities to live out what I believe. After all that is what it's all about. Not just saying the words...God is faithful, merciful, loving, gracious, patient, etc...it's about showing people who He is through my life. I pray that the way I handled this situation brought glory to Him...for that is my only purpose in life....to do everything to bring glory to God.

to grant to those who mourn in Zion--
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
...the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3

It's been a long time since I've written...

I can't believe the last time I wrote anything was on December 31,st 2009! WoW...I've had a pretty great year so far, with one exception, I had a miscarriage in June. It was one of the worst days of my life. It was a roller coaster ride for the months that led to my body naturally miscarrying our baby. What a blow that was. My heart was aching but I knew all along that the Lord would sustain me. After all He is the Creator of life, who am I to question why this happened?  The miscarriage was a horrible experience for me. I was admitted into the hospital, 2 times within days of each other. I had lossed so much blood that I no longer had an option of not having a D&E...it was mandatory or I would've bled to death. There are so many more details, but I won't bore you with them.

Here is my fb entry on May 22,2010
I woke up this morning crying. My heart could not be consoled. I long to hold my baby, but that isn't the plan. My heart doesn't understand at all. I have a hard time believing that this little life still inside me has no life in it. Why? I woke up asking. I don't understand.

Though my heart is breaking, my trust in still in the Lord, for He alone is worthy. Though tears stream down my face, still I will praise You, for You alone know Your plans for me. Though I don't understand, still I wait for You.
I didn't think this pain would be so great, but I was wrong. I can't watch a commercial with cute little babies without tearing up.

I know the Lord has plans to prosper and not harm me, on this I stand.
I know that He loves me and is concerned with every detail of my life, this I take comfort in.
I know that He will never leave or forsake me, this I rest in.
I know that He is my strength when I am weak. My weakness I give to Him.
I know that He alone can bring peace to my broken heart, this I count on.
I know that joy will come in the morning.

I know alot more than these and, although the pain is great, I will stand on what I know b/c God is faithful! Praise You Lord for You and You alone are worthy of all praise no matter what!!

Who am I to question why? When it is the Lord who makes the rain fall from the sky, the thunder roar, and the lightning strike through the sky.
Who am I to question why? When it is the Lord who is all knowing, all powerful, and ever present.
Who am I to question why? When it is the Lord who gives me my very life and breath.
 
That sums up the way I felt. Praise the Lord my heart is healing. <3
Today is a new day, filled with new adventures and new things to learn. :D

ok. with a new year comes new changes. I need help! I have a weight problem, amongst others. I don't have a weight problem b/c I eat too much. I have a weight problem b/c I don't eat enough. Some days I completely forget to eat. Some people might say, wow, what a great problem to have, but they don't understand. When I don't eat it slows down my metabolism and stores fat...basically, my body believes I'm starving it so it holds onto every little thing I do eat b/c it's not sure when another meal is coming. This is a problem for me. I am around 200#'s, I don't have a scale, but the last time I was weighed that's what I was, and I'm only 5'3" tall. I exercise everyday, playing wii boxing, bowling, baseball, and tennis for atleast an hour, sometimes more than that..If you say that's not exercise, then I challenge you to do it and see for yourself. This exercising is making my weight worse, believe it or not, b/c not only am I starving myself, but I'm also burning up calories that I don't have to burn up when I exercise. I need to make sure I eat every meal every day! I haven't done such a great job lately. I've been so busy that I just forget. I need you to hold me accountable. I need someone to ask me, everyday, if I ate and what I ate. Please won't you help me? I hate being this heavy! I hate being unhealthy! I want to be free from this bondage that I live in.

Something Random:

I was watching netflix with my girls when Felicia said, "Mom, David Archaletta is on I Carly." I said, "I know." Then my youngest, Jewel says, very seriously I might add, " Who's David Enchilada?" Kids say the cutest things.